I got to visit yet again my local hospital yesterday for about six hours
I was told that that was my seventeenth time there since January all for the same problem
I have what is called (after undergoing a upper and lower gi and colonoscopy)
a hiatal hernia what that means is atm I am on soft foods
since any thing that passes my lips must go past what are lesions and open sores in my esophagus
and solids hurt or get me so sick that I gotta' get to the hospital soon
I gotta' go get more testing done to determine what it is exactly that have since the docs are still puzzled
but this means that usually weekly I am in the hospital undergoing testing of some sorts
what this breaks down to is I am slowly dying as my body starts to shut down
atm I can't control my body temp at all and I either am freezing in 90 degree weather or I sweat profusely
can feel my body shutting down at times and unfortunately it is happening more and more frequently
when I was about twenty I gave my life span at about fifty
so I exceeded my own expectations by five years already!
but to be brutally honest I don't know how many years I have left
but I hope to make the best of them
don't expect any answer just had to vent somewhere